Announcer: You're watching Uni-TV, Unikingdom's favourite and only television network.
(Unikitty and Puppycorn are shown fiddling with their papers while the camera's rolling.)
Unikitty: I'm gonna make you a beautiful paper bird. Uh-huh.
Puppycorn: I'm gonna draw a rocket ship. [Makes rocket noises]
Dr. Fox: Unikitty! You guys are live!
(Both gasp then sort out their papers)
Unikitty: Oh hi! Good morniiiiing~♥, Unikingdom! I'm your news anchor, Unikitty!
Puppycorn: And I'm the other one: Puppycorn!
Unikitty: We've put together the best news to help you start you're day, and girrrl do we have a bunch of great news stories to start you're day! [While saying this she holds up a paper that says "Everything is on fire!"]
Puppycorn: [Outside on a rainy day.] Plus weather!
Unikitty: [On a sporty background.] Sports!
Puppycorn: [On a Sciencey background inside a beaker.] Science stuff!
Unikitty [Back to the studio] And a story so nuts, it'll change your life forever. [Puppycorn then appears gasping, then stays there as Unikitty keeps talking.] That's all coming up on Unikingdom News Super Good Morning Time Action Program Information Show Now!
Announcer: It's the Unikingdom News Super Good Morning Time Action Program Information Show Now! With your anchor: Unikitty, Puppycorn, Cooking and Chemistry Expert Dr. Fox, Hawkodile with the weather.
Hawkodile: Yeah! Sport- Wait, what? I thought I was doing sports! Oh no!
Announcer: And Richard!
Richard: (Confused) Huh?
Announcer: It's Unikingdom News Now! Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!
(Richard then floats away.)
(Unikitty and Puppycorn are seen having a conversation as they then end.)
Unikitty: Welcome viewers. Let's get to today's stories. [A block saying "Chili Thief" appears next to Unikitty.] There was a Chili Thief at yesterdays big Chili Festival. Authorities provided [a sketch of Puppycorn eating chili appears on the screen] this composite sketch based on witness's account of the scene.
Dino Dude: It was like a blue blur! Then all the food was gone like a chili tornado! Pretty sure it was Puppyco-
(Cut to static.)
Unikitty: Terrible. The over-excited chili lover reportedly ate 10 whole buckets of it. Then ran away into the bushes. Talk about "a hot pursuit", eh Puppycorn?
Puppycorn: [sloppily eating chili out of a water bucket] That's impressive. [Then realizes he's on air] Uh, I mean, it said all you can eat!"
Richard: Princess, you said you just wanted to do some morning announcements. When did you even build this set?
Unikitty: Don't worry bout it Richard, we're professional news people! OUR TOP STORY OF THE HOUR!
Richard: *sighs in resignation*
(A block saying "Top Story" On it appears Next to Unikitty)
Unikitty: The most unbelievable thing to ever happen! [A block saying "Kids!" appears Next to Unikitty] KIDS are talking about it! [A block saying "The Popo!" appears next to Unikitty] POLICE are talking about it! [A block saying "Nuns!" appears Next to Unikitty] NUNS are talking about it! When you learn what it is, IT'LL TOTALLY BLOW YOUR SOCKS CLEAN OFF! [A "Scientists' Approximation" logo on the screen with Puppycorn getting his socks blown off. Literally.] And we're gonna tell you all about it, [A block saying "A new Segment!" appears next to her.] but first, this next segment!
(A black appears behind Unikitty with "A new segment!" written on it, follow by a screen with "Unikitty on the Street!" written on it)
Unikitty: News on the Stree-heet! With your newsfield reporter: Me! C'mon - we gotta talk to the people!
(Unikitty zips away)
Unikitty: What do you think what's going on here?
Stocko: Um, everything's okay, I guess. I was thinking of buying a new couch.
Unikitty: Daah! No, we need a just-see story! Thank you though!
(Unikitty zips away)
Unikitty: What about you sir?
Citezen: Well, I havent seen my twin brother in 20 years
Unikitty: No, I said juicy! But good luck! What about you? Is this some sort of food protest?
Boy: Nah, just a picnic. We like burgers.
Unikitty: Well, what if I told you that these burgers were POISENED?
Boy: [spits out food] What?! They are?
Unikitty: No. BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE?!?!
Boy: Oh no! [Starts running away from the camera] What a terrible scenario!
[The boy starts running to another child eating a burger, kicking it out of his hands.]
Boy: Doc! Don't eat that!
Unikitty: Well, it looks like my work here is done. We'll keep investigating this burger epidemic on the street. Back to you, me!
[Unikitty flies and crashes back into the studio.]
Unikitty: Thanks me! Great segment! Now its time for...
[Puppycorn appears on the table, spinning]
Puppycorn: Puppycorn's Sports Corner!
[A montage appears with somebody playing baseball, into football, into water skiing]
Announcer: 🎵sports, sports, sports, sports sports sports sports, sports, sports, sports sports sports sports, sports, sports, sports sports sports sports, Sports Corner!🎵
[A replay of basketball appears with purple-jerseyed players]
Puppycorn: Last night, the Unikingdom (enter the name, i forgot it) beat the Frowntown Mud Buds 72 - 0
[A player scores]
Player: Yeah! Teamwork!
[Puppycorn appears with a TV behind them]
Puppycorn: That's probably because the Mud Buds lost their way to the arena and never showed up. Next up, football! The one you play with you're hands!
[A still appears with Toasty and Toast about to catch a football]
Announcer: Yeah, football! Yeah!!!
[A replay appears with a football player running, with a football]
Puppycorn: Wow! He's going so fast! He must have rockets! [Pauses the video and draws rocket boots on the player] (makes rocket noises) And he should have a sword too! [draws a sword] Shing! And then a DRAGON ATTACK!!! [draws a dragon, guitar, and himself onto the screen while making dragon and guitar noises] Yeah! Wait, what's that? [Zooms in on a bird] Hey, bird! Get outta here! Hey, bird, bird, bird bird bird bird!, bird! [Crashes onto the screen]
(Back in the studio)
Unikitty: Great segment, bro. Next up, its our eye in the sky! Our master of meteorology, Hawkodile with the weather! (Starts cheering)
[In Hawkodile's room, he's taking off his helmet and sports pants]
Hawkodile: Stupid helmet! Man, I'm such a fool. (Realizes he's on air) Uh-oh! I'm not ready! Cut to someone else! (Crashes off screen) Woah! Woah!
[In the studio]
Puppycorn: I guess the weather's later!
Unikitty: Coming up! Our top story! [A panel next to Unikitty appears with a grandmother and the text "I made stew!"] Call you're gramma and tell her you're gonna be late to dinner, because when you hear this story, it will shake you TO YOU'RE VERY COOOOORE! Right after these commercials!
[It Translated To Feebee's Flower Shop.]
Feebee: Hello There To The Feebee's Flower House.