(The episode starts out with Hawkodile sitting in front of his treehouse dojo. He is holding a mallet, and there are two boards that are overlapping each other in front of him. A small nail is poking out of the center of both boards)
Hawkodile: You're going down, nail! (He whacks the nail until it goes in)
(Unikitty flies over to him)
Unikitty: Hey, Hawkodile!
Hawkodile: Princess! Glad you're back. Did you get that screwdriver I asked for?
Unikitty: Oh! Right! Screwdriver! Uhh... no. But I did get you a... (She pulls out a melted ice-cream popsicle shaped like herself) ...cold refreshing treat!
Hawkodile: Thanks, princess, but I already came prepared with a cooler full of emergency rations. (He pulls out a cooler, setting it down on the ground in front of Unikitty) Preparation is key. (He opens it and pulls out an ice-cream sandwich) You've gotta plan for everything. (He pulls the wrapper off of the sandwich and eats it)
Unikitty: Oh, I don't plan for anything. I at least just stay positive, 'cuz everything works out if you go with the flow!
(She drops her popsicle, and it nearly lands on a paper that is laid out on the ground before Hawkodile stops it. It drips onto the paper)
Hawkodile: You don't 'go with the flow', princess. (He hands her the popsicle) You control it, with careful planning and preparations. Speaking of planning... (He lifts up the paper, which is revealed to be a blueprint) ... check out these plans!
(Unikitty gasps, her popsicle falling off and landing on the ground. The screen cuts to the blueprint, showing pictures of a boat taken from many different angles. There is a label at the top that says 'BODYGUARD BOAT')
Hawkodile: I'm build a state-of-the-art, top-of-the-line, first-class, ultra-primo bodyguard boat! Designed by yours, truly. It's got afterburners...
(The screen zooms in on three jets that are at the bottom of the boat)
Hawkodile: Lasers...
(The screen zooms in on a laser gun that is at the top of the boat)
Hawkodile: Radar dishes...
(The screen zooms in on an antenna near the back of the boat)
Hawkodile: ...and a basketball court!
(The screen pans to a basketball court that covers nearly the entire boat)
Unikitty: Cool! Is it finished?
(Hawkodile pulls the blueprint off of the screen, which reveals a small, log raft with a white sail that has holes in it. A basketball net is placed on top of the mast, but soon falls off and lands in the water)
Hawkodile: Almost.
Unikitty: Wow! (She flies over to the boat and touches the logs) It looks so professional!
Hawkodile: Because it's my job as bodyguard to protect this castle from all angles, including water ways. This baby will protect the moat from submarines, sea monsters, crawfish, you name it!
Unikitty: Wow! You're so prepared!
Hawkodile: You know it! And, speaking of which... (He pulls out two life-vests, then puts one on Unikitty)
Unikitty: Ooh! (She examines the vest, smiling)
Hawkodile: (He points to the vest he had put on himself) And now we're both ready for the water.
Unikitty: Awesome! We are rockin' these! (She jumps onto the raft and starts chanting) Hey, look at me! I'm ready for the sea! (She stops chanting and starts doing a pirate impression) Argh! Man the sails! Pull the anchor! Feed me pet crab!
(Hawkodile jumps onto the raft, carrying his cooler. He sets the cooler down)
Hawkodile: Princess, operating a marine vessel takes specific planning and procedures.
Unikitty: Oh, then, let us proceed!
(An old pirate then appears on the shore in front of them)
Old Pirate: Avast!
(Unikitty and Hawkodile both turn to look at him)
Old Pirate: I'd be weary if I were you. Storm's a comin'. Rough seas on the horizon, for both you AND your vessel. I can feel it in me bones!
Unikitty: A storm?
Hawkodile: I checked all the charts. There's no storm in the forecast today.
Unikitty: Oh, good!
(The screen cuts to a thunderstorm in the skies, which are dark-grey and covered in storm clouds. Lightning then strikes. The screen cuts to Hawkodile and Unikitty, who are trying to shield themselves from the rain. They are both screaming. Hawkodile grabs onto the mast as the wind pushes him into the air)
Hawkodile: I'll sail us back to shore!
(Unikitty nearly flies off the boat, but she grabs onto the edge of it. She can't hold on, though, and the wind pushes her back. She grabs onto Hawkodile's feet before she flies off)
Unikitty: Whoa! Hawkodile!
(The rope keeping the boat tethered to the moat snaps, and the boat goes flying back. It is then sent across a ton of large waves, while Unikitty and Hawkodile are struggling to stay on. Another wave, bigger than before, appears in front of the boat. The two scream harder as the wave hits the boat. Lightning continues to strike until the storm disperses completely. The raft floats out into the now-calm waters, and Unikitty is clinging onto the mast, her eyes shut. Hawkodile looks around)
Hawkodile: I can't believe that, out of all my preparations, I didn't prepare for a cursed pirate storm!
Unikitty: It's okay, Hawk! You just gotta stay positive! Look! (She elbows Hawkodile and smiles) We weathered the storm!
(Hawkodile's expression deadpans, and he stares at Unikitty, annoyed)
Unikitty: (nervously) Haha, a little cloud humor...
Hawkodile: (still annoyed) Yeah. Where are we?
Unikitty: I guess we washed out of the moat and into the ocean! Neat!
Hawkodile: Don't worry, princess. I'll get us home with my...
(He gets into a fighting stance and a guitar plays a small song in the background)
Hawkodile: ... survival skills!
(The guitar stops)
Hawkodile: I didn't go to lost-at-sea survival camp for nothing!
(A flashback starts. Hawkodile, now as a little kid, is sitting in a sinking canoe)
Hawkodile (kid): YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, OCEAN!
(He starts punching the water. The screen zooms out to show a lifeguard and a group of kids standing on the dock, staring at him. They all gasp in unison. The flashback then ends)
Hawkodile (normal): (smiles) Got an A plus. But, you gotta be prepared for anything, (He rushes over to his cooler, which is still on the raft, and pulls out a megaphone) like me!
Unikitty: Ooh! (She shouts into the megaphone) Echo! (Her voice echoes a few times afterward. She giggles)
Hawkodile: We'll start with Survival Plan A: Calling for help.
Unikitty: Oh, okay!
(They both start shouting into the megaphone at the same time)
Unikitty: (in a sing-songy voice) Help! Help us! Whoo! Lalala!
Hawkodile: Hello? Please! Help us! We're stuck at sea! HELP!
(They stop yelling, but there is no response from anyone)
Hawkodile: Okay, that didn't work. (He throws the megaphone into the water) Maybe we're worse of than we thought...
Unikitty: Don't worry, Hawk! It'll be fine! Look, I'll fly around and find someone to help us!
(She takes off and starts flying away from the raft)
Unikitty: Hello? Anyone out there? We need help! (She looks at the mist surrounding her) Ugh! The fog is so thick, I can barely see anything!
(A small raft comes into view and a figure is standing on top of it. She stops flying and gasps, her cheek blush morphing into exclamation marks. She immediately heads for the raft)
Unikitty: Hey, sir, or ma'am, or... neither! I don't want to be presumptuous, but could you help us? We're in trouble!
(She flies up to the boat, which ends up to be the raft her and Hawkodile stranded on before. Her friend is holding an oar, which is partly in the water. Her expression deadpans)
Unikitty: Oh. It's you.
(Hawkodile looks up at her, upset)
Hawkodile: Wait, WHAT?
(He flies into the air, then goes to offscreen to the right. Seconds later, he appears again on the left side of the screen. He flies all the way back to the right side and goes offscreen again. The cycle continues for a little bit as he starts to go faster. He suddenly stops)
Hawkodile: (even more upset) WHAT?!
(He flies into the sky, going offscreen again, but somehow ends up going out through the water, which is towards the bottom of the screen)
Hawkodile: Oh, we're stuck! (He lands back onto the raft) This fog is way to thick!
(Unikitty flies over to him, covering his mouth with her paw)
Unikitty: Shh! Shut your sweet, little beak-mouth! This is an adventure, Hawkodile! It'll be fine! We'll find a way home eventually!
(The screen zooms on Hawkodile, who just stares into the distance, scared. Sweat trickles down his face. Unikitty's voice starts echoing the words 'eventually')
Hawkodile: Eventually? We've gotta get back to shore! Apart from volcanoes and quicksand, the open ocean is one of natures most hostile environments! But, luckily, I came prepared!
(He turns around, the guitar from before playing again. He points to a large container, which he is using like a backpack)
Unikitty: Awesome!
(He sets the container down and opens it)
Hawkodile: I've got supplies... (He pulls out a medical kit) ... weapons... (He pulls out lots of large weapons) ...and fresh socks!
(He pulls out a small pack of socks. The screen zooms in on the socks, and a high-pitched voice then sings, "Socks!")
Unikitty: Ooh! Is that a flare gun?
Hawkodile: Princess, don't--
(Unikitty sets off the flare gun, which causes the pack to circle around the raft and go into the sky. The container explodes, and a firework pattern that spells out "HELP" appears in the sky. All of the supplies in the container fall into the water, the medical kit landing on Hawkodile's head before bouncing into the ocean)
Unikitty: Oops. Well, it's okay, though. Do you have a Plan B?
Hawkodile: That was Plan B...
Unikitty: Oh. Well, I know what'll cheer you up! Plan C, Shanty!
Hawkodile: Huh?
Unikitty: I'm gonna sing you a sea shanty!
Hawkodile: Yeah, please don't...
Unikitty: (inhales, then starts singing) ♪ Oh, Captain Parrot was the finest in the land! ♪
(Hawkodile groans, covering his face in his hands)
Unikitty: ♪ Oh, Captain Parrot bit the mayor on the hand! ♪ (stops singing) Don't like that one? How about... (singing again) ♪ If you don't like scurvy, you should go and get a lime, and if you're feeling drowsy, eat a lemon for some time! ♪
(He falls to the floor, groaning even louder)
Unikitty: (stops singing) Don't like that one either? That's okay, I've got twenty-five more!
25 SEA SHANTIES LATER...
(Hawkodile is now laying against the mast. Unikitty continues singing)
Unikitty: ♪ Take me away to burger island! It's an island filled with juicy burgers! Take me away to-- ♪
Hawkodile: Princess! (He covers her mouth with his hand) I think it's time for a new Plan C.
Unikitty: Shanty?
Hawkodile: No! Plan C is to gather sustenance ASAP, so I'll teach you how to fish.
Unikitty: Ooh! Fishing could be fun!
Hawkodile: Step 1, check the wind direction. (He puts his finger in his mouth, then quickly pulls it out and raises it high. A little bit of his saliva is on his finger) East. (The wind pushes the spit back and it lands on his sunglasses) My favorite.
(He turns to face Unikitty)
Hawkodile: Okay. Step 2: Stretch.
(The two are suddenly in exercise clothes. They start dancing, the screen continuously switching between the two. After a few minutes, they are back in their normal clothes. Hawkodile gives Unikitty a thumbs-up)
Hawkodile: Good. Now we'll catch fish using my ancient fishing karate! Observe.
(He walks over to the edge of the boat and swings his arms around, his hands going underwater. He stops, realizing he hadn't caught any fish)
Hawkodile: Hmm. Let's try this again.
(He repeats the process, but still didn't catch anything)
Hawkodile: Hmm. Maybe what I need is some fishing line. (He puts his hands in his mouth) Maybe there's some leftover dental floss in my mouth.
Unikitty: (offscreen) ♪ Hey, little fishies! Come up here! ♪
(The screen cuts to her, and she's peering off the edge of the raft, singing. A boombox is right next to her, on the cooler. Her cheek blush has morphed into music notes and she's sprouting tons of music-related sparkle matter)
Unikitty: ♪ Be my fishy friends! La la la la la la! ♪
Hawkodile: Pfft. As if that's gonna-- Wait, WHAT?
(Some fishes have come to dance with her)
Unikitty: Yay!
(Upset, Hawkodile pulls off his tail and ties it to the floss string he found in his mouth. He dips his tail in the water)
Hawkodile: Come on, somebody bite!
(He looks back at Unikitty, who is still dancing. Even more fish have come to join her)
Hawkodile: Oh, come on! That's not real fishing! This is fishing!
(His fishing line shakes. He immediately pulls it out of the water, cheering, but then noticed that it was just an old bucket)
Hawkodile: Ugh... (His stomach growls) I'm starving...
(He walks over to Unikitty)
Hawkodile: Hey, uh, princess?
Unikitty: What is it, Hawk?
Hawkodile: Can I, uh, eat a fish?
Unikitty: WHAT? You can't eat my fishy friends! (She pulls a few of them in for a hug) We're dance buddies! That's a bond for life! (She throws the fish she was holding back into the ocean)
Hawkodile: But the whole point of fishing is to eat what we catch!
Unikitty: Well you should have said that before I INVITED EVERYBODY!
(She whacks the cooler, boombox, and the rest of the fish back into the ocean. Hawkodile gasps)
Unikitty: Sorry, guys. Party's over. See you next time!
Hawkodile: Ugh! (He covers his face in his hands) Why isn't this working? Surviving danger is, like, my main thing! (He lifts up the bucket he'd fished out of the water) But all I've gotten is this dumb bucket!
(The voice from before sings "Bucket!". Unikitty looks at it, squishing her cheeks with her paws and her eyes are twinkling. Hawkodile prepares to throw it back into the ocean before Unikitty flies up to it and stops him)
Unikitty: No! Don't throw that bucket!
Hawkodile: Let me guess, you wanna have a dance party with the bucket, too?
Unikitty: No, ya goob! Look! There's food in there!
(A piece of moldy cheese is in the bucket, flies circling around it. The voice then sings, "Cheese!")
Unikitty: See? Everything works out if you go with the flow!
Hawkodile: It might not be safe. I didn't bring my cheese disinfectant.
Unikitty: Okay, maybe you're right...
(The two stare at the cheese for a few seconds, their eyes watering and stomachs growling)
Unikitty: ... I'm so hungry...
Hawkodile: I guess a little bit won't hurt...
(They immediately grab part of the cheese and start eating it. They both sit down, smiling)
Hawkodile: That really hit the spot.
Unikitty: Told you this bucket was great! (She lifts up the bucket and smiles even harder) I hereby promote Bucket to first mate! Come on, Hawk, we should salute Bucket!
(Her face quickly changes to a confused expression. The screen cuts to Hawkodile, and another sunglass lens appears in the middle of the two he already has)
Hawkodile: What?
Unikitty: You look... funny...
(She laughs and her eyes start twinkling. She turns into a more detailed drawing of a cat. The screen cuts to Hawkodile, who's sunglasses are back to normal, but his entire face is upside-down)
Hawkodile: I look funny? You look funny, too!
(She lifts up her paws, which are realistic and not animated)
Unikitty: Ooh! (She moves her paws around)
Hawkodile: Ooh!
(Several pairs of his sunglasses and mouth float in front of the original ones, stacked in a domino affect. He laughs, the mouths changing one by one. Unikitty laughs too, her eyes and mouth slowly being replaced by a replica of her head. Suddenly, a voice starts calling out to her and Hawkodile. They turn in the direction of the voice, gasping. Two other voices start calling both of their names, the three voices echoing their names from different sides. He screams)
Hawkodile: Sirens!
Unikitty: They're singing about us!
Hawkodile: They're trying to lure us into their trap!
(The screen cuts to a strand of seaweed, floating in the water. It changes into an eel. He gasps)
Hawkodile: AHH! They sent a deadly electric eel! Bodyguard attack!
(A seal floats up to the side of the raft near Unikitty)
Unikitty: They also sent a beautiful mermaid!
(It jumps into the air, immediately turning into a mer-seal. Unikitty pulls it in for a hug)
Unikitty: You look radiant!
(The eel has now wrapped itself around Hawkodile)
Hawkodile: Princess! It's got me!
(She is now petting the mer-seal's hair)
Unikitty: You have such gorgeous long hair!
(Hawkodile is trying to hold the eel down)
Hawkodile: It's too strong! It's going to sink the raft!
(Unikitty is poking the seal's head)
Unikitty: Who's the queen of the ocean? You are! You are!
(Her bodyguard and the eel are now fighting with swords)
Hawkodile: Back, beast! Back!
(Unikitty is now in a mermaid outfit and she's hugging the seal)
Unikitty: I love you!
(Hawkodile is holding the eel by it's tail)
Hawkodile: I'll destroy you!
(Unikitty is laughing, rubbing the mermaid's scales. The seal jumps out of her hands)
Unikitty: No! Wait!
(The seal jumps into the ocean, splashing water into her face. Hawkodile's tackling the strand of seaweed when the water then splashes into his face. They immediately break out of their trance. Unikitty starts rubbing her eyes, trying to get the water out. Hawkodile spits the cheese taste out of his mouth)
Hawkodile: I knew eating that bucket of cheese was a bad idea!
(He grabs the cheese and throws it into the water)
Hawkodile: Curse you and your weird cheese!
(The cheese sinks into the ocean. Three sharks start swimming up to the boat)
Unikitty: Hey, it's not Bucket's fault. He just didn't know what kind of food we like. (She takes notice of the sharks, which are now circling the raft) Yay! Fishy friends are back!
Hawkodile: Those aren't friends, those are sharks!
(One shark rams into the side of the boat, which sends the bucket flying into the ocean. Unikitty reaches out to it, about to jump off the raft and follow it)
Unikitty: Hey, Bucket, where you going?
(Hawkodile runs up to her and grabs her so she won't leave the raft)
Hawkodile: Forget the bucket, princess! It's shark food now!
Unikitty: Try and have some fun! Bucket's just going for a swim!
Hawkodile: We have to stay on the raft! It's the only way to stay safe!
(Unikitty points in the opposite direction of the bucket)
Unikitty: Hawk, look!
(He looks in the direction she pointed)
Hawkodile: What?
(She jumps into the water while he's distracted)
Unikitty: I'm coming, Bucket!
Hawkodile: Princess, no!
(She starts swimming towards the bucket, the sharks following her closely)
Unikitty: Let's play Marco Polo!
Hawkodile: We have to stick to the plan! Get back in the boat before those sharks eat you for brunch!
(Unikitty is now holding the bucket. The sharks swarm around her)
Unikitty: What's that, Hawk? I can't hear you over how much fun Bucket and I are having!
Hawkodile: PRINCESS, WATCH OUT! (He dives in after her)
Unikitty: (chanting) Bucket, you're so cool! Swimmin' with you in the pool!
(Hawkodile swims up to her. The sharks suddenly swim away, scared)
Unikitty: Hey! You finally decided to have fun!
Hawkodile: Princess! The only safe place here is on that raft!
(A kraken suddenly pulls the boat underwater. He gasps, turning around)
Unikitty: Oh my gosh, Hawkodile! Could you imagine if we were still on that raft? We'd be goners!
Hawkodile: You're right...
(He turns back around, and the kraken lifts the boat up and starts punching it in the background)
Hawkodile: We were saved by your reckless, irresponsible, empty-headed, fun obsessed attitude!
(The screen cuts to Unikitty, and she puts the bucket on her head)
Unikitty: Rude...
(Screen cuts to Hawkodile. The kraken is trying to rip the sail off of the boat, and is eventually successful)
Hawkodile: No, princess. I was so obsessed with being prepared, I forgot sometimes you really just gotta jump off your raft and have some fun!
(Screen cuts to Unikitty. Her eyes are twinkling)
Unikitty: Aww, Hawk...
(Screen cuts to Hawkodile. The kraken is destroying the raft with a mallet)
Hawkodile: I see now that, sometimes, it's good to take risks!
(Screen cuts to Unikitty and she smiles wide)
Unikitty: Yeah!
(Screen cuts to Hawkodile. The kraken is cutting the boat with a large chainsaw)
Hawkodile: Sometimes you're supposed to just have fun!
(Screen cuts to Unikitty and she smiles even bigger)
Unikitty: YEAH!
(Screen cuts to Hawkodile. The kraken is trying to rip the boat in half)
Hawkodile: Sometimes it's okay to get lost at sea with no hope of ever getting home!
(The kraken successfully tears the boat into two pieces, then goes back underwater, taking the boat along with it. Screen cuts to Unikitty)
Unikitty: Well, I should have listened to you, too. If I was more careful, we wouldn't be lost at sea with no hope of ever getting home in the first place. What do we do?
(Hawkodile looks at the bucket, a lightbulb flashing over his head. He grabs the bucket from Unikitty)
Hawkodile: I'll tell you what, princess. Let's have some fun!
(The screen wipes to a scene with Hawkodile sitting in the bucket, Unikitty atop his shoulders in a piggy-back ride position. He is pushing the bucket to make it move across the water. They are both singing)
Unikitty and Hawkodile: ♪ Take me away to burger island! It's an island full of burgers! ♪
(Three fish approach it from behind, then help Hawkodile push the bucket)
Unikitty: Yay! Fishy friends!
Hawkodile: Whoa! Thanks, guys! (He turns to Unikitty) Don't worry, princess. I promise we'll get home someday, come what may. Whether it takes days. Or weeks. Or years--
(The bucket suddenly stops after hitting the island that Hawkodile's treehouse is on)
Hawkodile: Land? Oh, land! Thank goodness! (He starts kissing the ground)
Unikitty: I'm so happy!
Hawkodile: Wait a second...
Unikitty: We're back where we started?
Hawkodile: But how?!
Dr. Fox: (offscreen) Look! They're finally back!
(The two turn in the direction of their friends voice. Her, Richard, and Puppycorn all walk up to them)
Puppycorn: We've been watching you goobers the whole time!
(Dr. Fox lifts up her tablet and shows it to them. A picture of the castle is on the screen)
Dr. Fox: We saw you guys go in a perfect loop around the castle...
(An arrow is slowly going around the moat of the castle. It suddenly speeds up and continues the cycle)
Dr. Fox: ...like, eight times!
Hawkodile: (upset) Why didn't any of you try to help us?
Puppycorn: We tried saying hi...
(A flashback starts. Dr. Fox, Richard, and Puppycorn are all standing on one of the rainbow bridges that go across the moat, calling out to Unikitty and Hawkodile. The screen pans to the two on the raft. Hawkodile is holding a piece of seaweed away from his body, screaming. Unikitty is holding the seal from earlier, whacking it on the head)
Unikitty: You have such gorgeous long hair!
(Hawkodile punches the seaweed a few more times, then screams even louder. The flashback ends)
Richard: It was sad, but also kinda funny.
(The screen cuts to Unikitty and Hawkodile)
Unikitty: Thanks for getting us home safe and sound, Hawkodile!
Hawkodile: No, thank you, princess! And next time, I'll be more prepared... to have fun!
(The five start dancing as the old pirate from the beginning of the episode approaches them. They immediately stop when he gets close to them)
Old Pirate: Looks like your ship survived the storm... your friendship, that is!
(The five's facial expressions immediately shift into annoyed ones. Richard starts booing the pirate. Puppycorn sticks his tongue out at him)
Unikitty: Who even ARE you?!
Dr. Fox: Come on, man!
(Hawkodile points to the dock connecting the treehouse to the castle)
Hawkodile: Go home!
(The episode ends)